PPP - The Story of my inatimate life.

Here I am, living another long and water filled day. My porcelain body cant take much more of this abuse, as Tyler forgot to push down the lever last night, and tomorrow is Saturday, which means he's sleeping in. 12 hours later he used me for a second time before finally cleaning my insides out, but the long night of suffering has given me some wicked indigestion, a common occurrence for Tyler and I, for he can be considered as the one who "kills too many trees". I now know some of Tyler's friends better than he does, as they were spitting their confessions to me, one spew at a time. He shouldn't have thrown that party last night. Welcome to the first "P". After some rubber recessitation, I can breathe again; I'm as free as a bird flying through the air.

I hear Tyler's family downstairs, loving life and enjoying each others company. Its chili night tonight and I'm preparing myself for the worst. Here comes the second "P" that makes my life feel like crap, literally.

Tyler's most common problem is his obsession with bottled water. As if I really need any more fluids inside my body. 18 trips today, that's how many I’ve counted so far. Tyler really needs to start putting the seat up more, his aim isn't too precise. I'm not a fan of my off-white complexion, but not like he cares, I'm just his dumpster. Welcome to the third P that makes me what I am.

Puke, Poop, Pee
The Story of my inanimate porcelain life.

I can't wait until I’m outdated.

Books that I would annihilate with my face

I'm alone on an island thanks to my drunken pilot.
Thankfully I got his random book bag that spits out whatever book I tell it to.
I'm hungry.


Every version of the Holy Bible
Easy choice really. This book contains the most pages out of every book ever written, and if I had a bundle of them, I'd probably be able to eat, start a fire, make a house and a paper mashay elephant that can carry me around wherever I needed to go. Amen!



A flavored Atlas
With this book, I could take a little bite out of every country, and taste it to. I could see this book going well with my tales of Jesus and his journeys.



The Guiness book of World Records 2009
Flip directly to the worlds biggest hot dog page and follow it with the worlds biggest pie. Now that's yummy


Lawrence Burton's mom's Italian cook book
I probably wouldnt eat this one, because if I did, Lawrence would probably end up eating me.



The English to French Dictionary
With this I could simply cut out the word "full", eat it, and be satisfied. Then do it again in French tomorrow.

Close Encounters

I was eight years old and laying in my bed where my most vivid childhood memory was about to take place... This night started out on it's normal routine by eating my cookies, brushing my teeth, entering my bed and going under my "toy-story" blankets. Everything went dark as I feel in to my deep sleeping state. I was a pretty powerful sleeper, not a whole lot could wake me up other than a trombone being played in to my ear point blank, maybe. For some reason, I woke up, but in a way that I have never experienced prior to that moment. I was conscious but immovable, I was breathing, but barely, I was in my room, but not alone. The way I fell asleep positioned my eyes towards my staircase, which always scared me as a child. Almost instantaneously an object appeared at the top of the stairs in the shape of a face, a very deranged face with big googly looking eyes. This looked like a modern day "alien" that in no way shape or formed looked like it was associated with this planet, and it was coming closer. My breathing became heavier and my eyes became wider as this thing was now inches away from doing whatever it is that aliens do when they get that close. As I was sweating, "it" was also sweating, but at a much faster rate. As scared as I was, the amazement that I may be witnessing something that kids my age don't ever get to witness was somewhat of a thrill. It brushed its hand against my head as if it was wiping the sweat from my face. I just felt it's frog like finger's touch my skin, and just like that, it was over. I could move again and my breathing restored itself to a normal rate. What the hell just happened? Sleep Paralysis: The person wakes up, but can’t move. This experience can be accompanied by : the feeling of a presence in the room, hallucinations in the form of a threatening shape and the feeling that something heavy is going to sit on the body. We can call this a disturbance in coming out of a dream. It touched me with it's bare hands and I felt every scaly molecule of it. This wasn't just an hallucination, it couldn't be.

25 things I like to write about

1. Paranormal
2. Astrology
3. Myths
4. Legends
5. World War II
6. Steak
7. Gorillas
8. Theories
9. Music
10. Dinosaurs
11. Hinting at future events
12. Military Weapons
13. Military Strategies
14. D-Day
15. Applesauce
16. Ottawa Senators
17. Drums
18. Horror stories
19. Essays that are personally driven not assigned
20. Asian culture
21. Asian history
22. Dreams
23. Fun Facts
24. Elderberries
25. One of the many oompa loompa's

Mikeography

Hey, the names Mike McNally and this is my story in about 200 words and a few dozen periods.

I was born April 3rd 1991 in Ottawa Ontario, Canada as an only child. After a year of living in the capital of our home and native land, my mother and I moved to Stoney Creek Ontario, Canada, where I have been living ever since. I am probably one of the biggest Ottawa Senators (NHL hockey for those of you who don’t have the slightest idea) fans known to man, and will continue to be for the entirety of my life as well as my afterlife. My true loves include my music, which never leaves my side, drumming, which is my main past-time, all of my super friends (yeah, they are actually super, like Bruce Banner style super like they all turn green and like stuff), hockey, and nice fat BBQ'd steaks which I try to eat on a regular basis. When it comes to an open mind, those two words, if they were together (openmind) would be my second middle name, as there is absolutely nothing that seems out of imaginative and/or plausible reach to me. From aliens to Armageddon’s, to spontaneous combustions, there is nothing that seems out of the question. I enjoy talking and expressing my own theories with people as well as getting their thoughts which may or may not give me more structure on certain beliefs of mine. Its fun and I encourage you to think for yourself without walls and previous guidance’s, you'd be surprised what you could get out of it.
My edumacation consisted of 3 elementary schools and one high school which I am currently attending at the grade 12 level. Sports wise I am playing rugby for Orchard Park Secondary School (my high school) where I can see us cracking skulls all the way to OFSSA this year. After high school I still intend on playing rugby but for a university instead, Macmaster University to be exact where I plan on majoring in History and having a minor in English.

So that's where I stand right about now. I hope I accomplished giving the reader something to remember me by, especially from the steak reference ;).